This Blog Has Been Jacked

Ahem. Um…hello? [Tap, tap, tap] Is this thing on? Oh! Uh…hi. I’m, uh, looking for my author. Do you know her? Her name’s Kristie. I’m Alexis, from Promise, and I kind of need her right now. Have you seen her? No? Well, crap.

See, we’re working on the next book, Purpose, and she’s left me in the middle of a big crisis. In fact, it’s absolute hell for me and I’d really like to get past this part. Yeah, we’ve already finished it once and I know things will get better, but I just really hate getting stuck back here again. It nearly kills me every time we go through it. And now she’s left me here, about to lose my freakin’ mind.

[Sound of a document opening.]

Oh. Hold on a sec. Maybe that’s her.

[Document closes.]

Son of a witch! Yeah, that was her alright! She opened the file for just a minute, said something about having to live her real life for a while and I’d just have to wait, then closed it again. So now I’m supposed to just sit here and wallow in my misery until she decides she has time for me again! She has these things called day-job clients and real kids and trying to get stuff done for Promise’s release. Apparently all stuff that’s more important than us right now. Doesn’t she know I’m on the verge of insanity?!? The nerve!!!

Well, I’ll show her! Since I’m a little on the crazy side anyway, I’m jackin’ the blog this week. Yep, it’s all mine. I’ll plead temporary insanity when she returns. It’s her fault, anyway. She put me in this mess.

Hmm...I better not go too crazy. After all, I’m a writer, too, and I know exactly what happens to characters who misbehave. Not even I’m safe. I know all about changing points of view in the middle of a book or series just so you can off the MC. [gulp] Kristie wouldn’t really do that, would she? I kind of like living in her head and I think she likes me, too. I’m not positive, though. I mean, if you knew the things she put me through… She’s horrible sometimes! Like right now, when I’m suffering through the darkest days of my life. Huh…maybe she’s really a bitch.

[Looks around, sees the sidebar.]

Oh, well, she looks nice. And she has a lot of friends, so she can’t be too bad. Oh! Look! There’s you! Look at all you real-lifers with your cute smiles and safe lives. Must be nice. Trust me. No matter how tough your life seems, it’s nothing like ours. I’m sure you don’t have demons chasing after you and your loved ones. Well, not real, physical ones that growl and bite and tear off body parts. Oops. I better watch what I say. Kristie would kill me if I give anything away. I mean, actually kill me.

So…what are we going to do this week? I guess I can start by telling you a little about me. I’m not really good at that, though. Maybe that seems weird, since you’ll be learning all about me in Kristie’s books, and they do get extremely personal. I mean, very close-up, with Tristan and me. [blushes] But, admittedly, those are my favorite parts. [shy grin]

Um…about me…well, what do you want to know? Why don’t you ask the questions and I’ll answer them this week. I can probably get Tristan to come over, too. Can you say yummy? Hmm…maybe I don’t want to share after all. We’ll, see…

If we have time before Kristie comes back and discovers what I’m doing, I’ll introduce a couple other characters this week, too. And they can probably tell you more about me than I can. So, if there’s anything you want to know, now’s the time to ask. We have to be careful and not give away too much – none of us want to be killed off – but since I’ve just been left hanging here, I’m willing to take a few chances. Maybe next time Kristie will think twice before leaving me like this again, the little witch.